Philippians 4:6-7

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Phillipians 4:6-7

So....I never fully grasped this passage before...until recently. I have always been a busy-body person, and so worrying and stressing about things was something of the norm. I understood that God wanted us to not worry about things...but how could I not worry about my grades, and my job, and my finances, and my family, and my friends! But recently....I have been going through a period of really just understanding what TRUSTING IN GOD means...allowing Him to take control of 'my' situations....and follow where He leads, and to just trust what He is doing. Within this past year, and following a decision to apply for Servant Partners, that was really totally God-led....I started to have all these worries and concerns....but I felt that I wanted to do SP also because of those concerns and worries...and to allow God to take control in my life and fill the gap and take care of those concerns. And God did prove Himself mightily (duh!)....He has taken care of my concerns of fundraising $$, concerns for my parents, and concerns of leaving my Fullerton IV/Newsong community (as He is already blessing me with my SP community). And even though I still do not have a job figured out or our housing situated yet....I have felt very at peace and I know that God will take care of me because He has already been taking care of me all along....I just had to take a risk of uncertainty, and trust God....what faith really is! I normally would be super stressed and freaking out because I don't have everything figured out....but as my friend Jayson said, God thrives in the realm of uncertainty...and that has been soo amazing and a blessing to experience, especially as I have seen God give me a peace in my heart about all of this!

So tomorrow (Friday, August 29th) I start orientation for Servant Partners. It has been good getting to spend time with people these past few days and hanging out and such.... and I feel that as I hang out with people that are closer to me....I get this stomach-ache feeling.....just kinda a sadness and uncertainty of when I will see them again....but God is with both my friends and me and the communication will continue! :) I still don't feel nervous yet.....maybe I'll feel nervous 5 minutes into our orientation...or as we're flying in the air on the way to the Philippines and I'm finding it difficult to fall asleep... but at this point...I still feel this calmness and peace about what I'm doing....I feel that is totally God!!!

Well...some prayer requests:

-For my sickness to fully heal.....and for all of my team while we are in the Philippines for good health
-Safe travels to and from the Philippines....and just for learning and reflection time while we are in the Philippines...and great training for what we are to be doing in our neighborhoods when we return to Los Angeles
-For God to be preparing a job for me when I return from Manila...I really want to work at a job that is close to where I'll be living...so I will have go out and search about for that...
-Housing....we still do not have our apartment yet.....so just that we will find an apartment/house quickly when we return from the Philippines...and for the friends that will be hosting us to receive great blessings upon them for their generosity!
-My parents...just for them to have more peace about the situation....and just trust that God is taking care of their daughter and keeping me safe!

Some pictures of my last week here in the OC....yeah :)

OG CSUF Intervarsity Crew!

The ladies at Erika and my going away celebration/party

Erika and me....off to Servant Partners soon!

Susan and me...in front of the cutest teahouse in Fullerton

Gwenstar and me at Lollicup....Happy Early Birthday! :-D

Tommy and me after Chipotle...yeah for Knes buddies!

Miscellaneous fun while at Lollicup...

No Jayson...you do not have blond hair

J-Hsieh and me....making weird faces is the norm...

Yep...Ashley hasn't changed... lol....got the chance to go back to Covenant and the COA, the sites I was serving with last year for LAUP....which started even more of the stirring for inner-city ministry work...that eventually led to Servant Partners!

Weeping...

So....for those of you who know me pretty well...you know that I do not cry much. But this past Saturday....I was weeping because of something my younger brother, Daniel, sent me. He had told me a while back that he was working on a Christmas present for my brother and me but didn't really say what it was....well he emailed me with an image file attached just saying, "here's part of the present". I started to open the image in a new window....and the processing of the dial-up internet reception at my parent's house was just taking too long...I wanted to see the whole image right away...but as it started showing up...I just starting getting that feeling of wanting to cry. It is an image of a culmination of beautiful pictures of my brothers and me from when we were growing up and our many travels...all together in a collage! I began to cry....and just cry.... and then I went to my room to journal about it and I wept even more! There's this feeling of when I cry that I just get dry in the mouth and such...almost like I can't breathe....and I just cough a bit (or maybe that's cause I'm a little sick), and the tears that won't stop coming, and I get this headache pain...but only for a little bit....I hadn't experienced this kind of weeping in a while...and it all came back to me soo quickly! There were soo many memories that came to my mind through seeing those pictures: Disneyland, family reunions, our travel trailer, fighting & getting along, summer vacations, and having fun together as a family! As much as my brothers and I are all far away from each other physically/geographically, I have never felt as close to them as I have than these past week! They bring soo much light and happiness in my life and I love them so much. I recently got an email from my older brother, Joel, just saying the he misses me from when I was up in Seattle visiting him and that he hopes I can go back again and visit him and that he wants to come visit me here and meet my friends. That was soo encouraging and such a joy to read that from my brother! And then also just getting this picture from Daniel was just a blessing to receive!

So I am worried about my commitments with Servant Partners and how that will affect me getting to see them and how our relationship will be affected...but I feel that Satan is putting some of those thoughts in mind....and I just pray that God will continue to take control of our relationships with one another and keep us connected....even though we are separated by miles.

I feel that this is how God intended family relationships to be....soo good that we weep over the greatness and the love that exists among family members! I feel that weeping IS a gift from God....that it is not something to be shameful about....and that it can be used for times of difficulty in pain...but also for tears of joy when there is so much greatness that we don't know what else to do besides smile and weep, which was what I was experiencing.

Then I got to thinking about weeping....and if other mammals experience weeping and such...apparently, no other animals weep for an emotional reason... I looked it up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tears#Types_of_tears

And how did God choose the emotion of crying....that salty water would leak from our eyes because we are sad or happy? There is a passage in the bible saying that "Jesus wept" and it is significant because it is the shortest verse in the New Testament....and also that it helps describe that Jesus was truly human...because He had human emotions!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_wept

So interesting what you can find on Wikipedia :)

*Here is the picture that Daniel sent me!


*Prayer Request:
-We are going to be turning in our information for our credit check soon with the apartment we are hoping to get in South LA for Servant Partners. Please be praying that everything goes smoothly...and that hopefully we can move in this weekend! :)

Rain Drops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens....

I LOVE my job...I was really thinking a lot about that the other day....and as difficult as it is at times and how upset I get at the kids because they do the same thing over and over....I am reminded of God's amazing unconditional compassionate love that He just keeps loving us back....and I have to remind myself to keep loving these kids...because God has done the same for me when I mess up. I really enjoy getting to be with them and joking around and hearing their stories...sometimes they are sad and my heart just aches for them and what they're going through....and I pray that God will keep them safe and protect their families. In all my years of working with kids, I have never been moved and touched that because of the kids I work with, I wanted to have my own..... but just being with these kids and taking care of them and having to be selfless so often and just really helping them with the little and simple things and worrying about them...wow.....makes me realize how much I would love to have my own kids one day. Of course I have always wanted to have my own kids....but there's just some things that I've experienced here that allow me to want those experiences with my own kids one day even more...and I just look forward to that.

I've only got 1 1/2 weeks left working with the summer day camp....then 1 week off to really just spend time with people...and then I start orientation for Servant Partners and then we go to Manilla in the Philippines for 3 weeks!!! Yikes...life moves so fast.... but God is good :-D

Sometimes trusting that God will provide is difficult...but I have seen Him provide in my life a lot lot throughout many times in my life, but most definitely in this past year with many a things. I believe God is powerful and is Jehovah Jireh....our provider....and so I am trusting that He will provide an exact housing location that He wants my roomates and I to have soon....as well as a job that He has been preparing for me.....and to have peace about not knowing all of that right now.

Prayer Requests:
-Conversations with my roomates about our housing search situation....we would like to have our housing settled before we leave for Manilla...so just that we will find something in these next few weeks..... and that if that is not the Lord's decision to have us have a place yet, to give us peace about that
-Job Search.....I have really been slacking with this and need to revise my resumes and write up cover letters to send out...so just energy and confidence that things will go smoothly
-My Car....I might not be taking my car with me to LA....I'm still praying about this decision and will be talking more with my parents this weekend about it...it will be uncomfortable for me in many ways...but that gives me more of a reason to see that God has His hand on this thought and that He will provide again and again and again in the ways of my transportation!
-CSUF Students - They will be starting school again in a couple of weeks...so just for good conversations with students during the first 2 weeks of getting to know people, inviting them out to Intervarsity events, and getting to know people and sharing God's love and kingdom on the Fullerton campus!
-MANILLA! - I will be in Manilla, Philippines for 3 weeks! I've never been overseas..so I'm excited....pray that we will have safe travels, good health, that we will be growing and learning together as a team, and that God will be moving and showing us how to live among the poor, love, and be a community together :-D
-My Brother - Continue to have conversations....continue seeking to love him without strings...peace about difficulty conflicts in the past

Fundraising Update:
-I have raised ~$4,500 at this point and I needed to raise $4,000...so praise God! :)


Here are some lovely pictures...so enjoy:

Camp Titan Celebration Banquet Dinner :)

Yumm....why does roadtrip food always taste soo good?! Santa Barbara :-D

Shaved Ice for Mike's Going Away to Chicago!